Every mom-to-be has probably wondered if there’s actual truth in that phrase. I mean, we start off so excited about the journey ahead. It’s as though we’ve always had a new baby to ponder.
We see all those milestones with such clarity...their first word, their first Christmas, their first birthday.
We see that first day of school, their first best friend, their first crush, and their first car.
We see their graduation from kindergarten and how it’s going to flow straight into high school graduation in the blink of an eye.
We see their first true love, their wedding day, even their own first pregnancy.
Or maybe we don’t.
Maybe we see that colorful little stick and instantly feel the morning sickness wave overtake us.
Morning sickness. What a funny turn of phrase that one is! Morning, sure....and afternoon, and evening, and the middle of the night, sometimes even the wee hours before morning hits again and it starts all over, right?
Either way, the journey for both of these moms has a similar path to take. TIME.
There’s a good deal of time ahead for both these moms. Time to bask in the joys and mysteries of pregnancy, time to ponder the meaning of life even. Even time for that morning sickness. We either embrace the time we have, or we try to wish it away.
We can’t wait to finish that first trimester. We’ve heard how a lot of women find relief from their morning sickness once that milestone is passed. We may be excited about the journey, but it’s still not totally real for us in many ways yet. We don’t have that recognizable pregnancy look quite yet. We can tell people we’re expecting, but do they really believe us? Do we really believe it?
Boom. Second trimester. Unless you’re like I was (I’m pretty sure the world knew I was pregnant the day after conception, LOL as I started gaining weight almost instantly!) you are just now starting to send out that visual pregnancy vibe. That little roundness in the midsection that isn’t from a few too many Twinkies and not enough planks at the gym.
You know what I’m talking about. Twinkies are just so good...and those planks? They’re just hard.
The point is, other people can easily see there’s something going on now. And for some moms, that morning sickness fairy tale about how it disappears as soon as we hit the second trimester...it’s true. We feel great, we’re doing that glow thing we’ve heard about, life is just awesome. We can start to see what those other moms were talking about now...first words, first tooth, first day of school...we have found that vision ourselves now.
Then the third trimester hits and we are either rolling with the flow of joy still, or our nemesis, morning sickness, has returned. Maybe it’s the deep summer now. The days are long, hot, tiring. How on earth do we continue to gain weight when we’re surely sweating it off faster than we can make it, right?
Maybe it’s a hard, cold winter. As if that round belly wasn’t enough, we can’t even zip our jackets up, our scarves seem to stand straight out in front of us rather than draping nicely, and we have virtually no sense of balance whatsoever. That little patch of snow everyone else can cross without incident? We’re stumbling as though grace was never even part of our life.
Some moms are still excited, but they secretly know what the other moms have thought all along...pregnancy can have a seemingly endless feel to it. There’s not really a baby in there, it’s all just fat that caught up to us (because of that Twinkie to plank ratio for sure). We’re never going to see a delivery room, that baby is going to stay in there forever. Lazy kid won’t give up their comfy spot for love nor money.
For some moms, that moment of “this is the song that never ends...” has always been there. For others, it starts to creep in during these last weeks.
We aren’t ready for this. We aren’t ready to be a parent, to have a little life dependent on us. We aren’t ready in practical ways either...the crib isn’t put together yet, there’s no car seat, we haven’t even packed a bag for the hospital yet.
We start watching the calendar with mixed feelings. Sometimes a watched pot does boil. That baby you thought would stay in there until he graduated arrives early. All those emotions and trepidation melt as we finally get to see that little face in person.
Sometimes though, that watched pot simply continues to simmer along, not making the progress we read about in all those birth books. The 40 week mark shows up and just keeps walking on past. Then 41 weeks. Then we start looking at the calendar in utter disbelief, just shaking our heads trying to grasp how this could happen.
Doesn’t he know he’s late to his own birthday?
Babies will forever seem to be on their own time schedule. They do it while they’re still wrapped in the comfort of the womb...and anyone with a teenager (who needs to get up on time for that first day of school after summer vacation) knows it continues along that way for a good while.
It’s ok though. That’s how babies are. They know when the time is right. They know when the path to the world outside is ready to open up for them. Don’t focus on a date on a calendar. That’s only going to accomplish one thing...you’re going to feel as though you failed Pregnancy 101 in some way.
That due date is just a best guess estimate. It’s not set in stone, it’s very much a fluid idea so relax and allow your body and your baby to do what they were created to do...birth when birth is ready.
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